For a long time I believed that my mind and body were two separate beings. I believed that the mind was in control and that my body was weak. I believed that my body needed to be punished in order to remind it that it was so weak. I also believed that I was a third separate being who watched this tug of war as if from above. Man that sounds all so bizarre when I read it back. It doesn’t feel logical, but that is the trouble with mental illness, not much is really logical. One of the symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder is an unstable sense of self and the beliefs of the separation of mind and body was most likely how this manifested it self for me. I still have an unstable sense of self, but it has manifested itself in different ways.
*The following post discusses self harm and suicide. Please make sure you are in a safe place before reading. If you are feeling unsafe please let someone know. Lifeline 13 11 14, Your GP or present to your local emergency department*
I keep saying that I am different than I used to be, that I am better than I used to be. However I feel like I have lead you on, at least the people who know me through a computer screen. I am better than I was, but I am not recovered, not by a long shot.
It’s nearing the end of another year here on the blog. I love to look back on the year of blogging and what has been popular for my readers. Sponsored posts seem to feature high this year, so I only included one. However there are also some posts that I am really proud of.
Welcome to another meeting of the minds that is The Lounge! This week is all about time machines. How you interpret that is up to you!
I wrote a post a few months ago about what I would do if I had a time machine. I was overwhelmed with the response I received. It seems there are a few people who would like to go back and tell their teenage selves that life does get better.
This week the theme for Sunshine Sundays is ‘Music’. I thought I would dazzle (or bore) you with my first albums.
I received K.D Lang’s album when I got my first CD player. I think I listened to it a handful of times..her style wasn’t really one I loved.