I read an article from a journalist who had visited her friend during a stay in a psychiatric hospital. The article was filled with generalisations about the experience of staying in a psychiatric unit and I worry that articles like this one are doing damage to our fight to end stigma. I really struggled with the gross over generalisations that were made in this article. Things that could easily be seem as scare mongering. Imagine being a person whose psychiatrist has suggested you have some time in a psychiatric ward and you read this article. It’s likely to make you shy away from even thinking of the prospect.
Imagine your brain as a place filled with worker ants. At the moment my worker ants have taken speed. I tried to find a picture to represent it but I gave up after 5 minutes. Nothing quite felt disorganised enough. Nothing represented the chaos that is my brain at the moment. I have so much IN my head and no way to grab it and get it out. I feelt like a spectator to my own inner workings.
I went to see Silver Linings Playbook today. I just couldn’t let it go without sharing it with you. It was a beautifully orchestrated movie. A movie that spoke to me in ways that I don’t think a movie has ever done. I felt part of the story, I found myself immersed in the story line, hoping for the same things the characters did.
Today I had an appointment with my mental health case manager. She had a power nap half way through. No I am not even close to shitting you. If it hadn’t been at my house I would have considered walking out. Chances are I wouldn’t. I don’t always have the fire I should in life. Today is one of those days.
This is the concoction of ‘drugs’ that I take every day to make me ‘stable’. These drugs help keep me from the edge and thinking it’s not that far to the bottom. They help me sleep instead of laying in bed at night and staring at the ceiling willing sleep to come. The new ones are supposed to help with the mood swings that go all over the place. They are the last port before lithium apparently. I started them on the weekend and so far I haven’t noticed and bad side effects so that has to be a good thing right. I’m working hard to keep the weight off and I guess my lack of appetite has worked in my favour so far. Although not so much when I had to have a blood test this morning.