I haven’t linked up with Kirsty for a few weeks but when I saw that this week was a list prompt I knew that I had to get in on the action. Lists are my absolute favourite. I love making lists. This week the prompt is: 10 Things I believe!
Almost 18 months ago I made the decision to cut back on my drinking. I didn’t want to give up completely, but I did want to cut back. Vodka and I had been best friends forever (BFF) for a long time, but it got to the point where I knew that something had to give. The relationship wasn’t working anymore, it had become toxic.
There are so many times I wish that I could go back and say all of the things that I think about now. It’s the snappy response to an insult. The words that were on the tip of your tongue until the moment passed. The words that you know would hurt eventually, even if they gave you a fleeting moment of triumph.I carry out full conversations in my head. Not in a hearing voices type way, I know the person isn’t really there, but in a way that I feel helps me prepare for a conversation. The trouble with having a two sided conversation in your head, when both sides are you, is that it’s not really a two sided conversation. Assumptions about responses are made and there are times when I find myself pissed off at Paul because of an imaginary argument we had.
Every person has a different experience of anxiety and how it impacts their life. For a long time I didn’t think that I had anxiety. It wasn’t until I was writing a short story a few years ago, that I realised I did. Reading another post made me see that my anxiety was manifesting itself as anger. I thought I had an anger problem, when I had an anxiety problem.
Last week Annette from I Give You The Verbs created a stir. She called for an uprising against the current state of things in the blogging community. What on earth do we have to fight against you ask? Well it appears that things have gotten a little cookie cutter around here. Creatives are being stifled by the need to be useful, getting caught up in the must dos and the forbidden. Today it has been exactly 5 years since I started this blog. It doesn’t feel like it has been that long at all. The landscape of the blogging community has changed so much over that time. A lot of what I learned was from muddling through on my own. There were limited conferences, podcasts or information sessions. So much of the information was targeted to an oversees market.