Some days I really feel like I am failing at the whole adult thing. Then I smack myself up side the head and realise that I am doing this, and I am doing OK. So, with that thought in mind, I decided to share with you the things that I have learned in my 27 years on earth.
You CAN be loved while feeling unlovable.
There are so many motivational pictures getting around with the basic message of ‘you must love yourself before anyone else can love you’ or some shit. I think that you is a crock. Sure, you may look for love in the wrong places when you don’t value yourself, but you can also be shown what love is. Some days, feeling loved when I absolutely hate myself is what gets me through.
Never shop on an empty stomach or straight after lunch.
On an empty stomach you will end up with more junk food than a kids sleep over. However if you shop on a full stomach, like I often make the mistake of, you will end up with a hand full of stuff because you’re full and can’t stand the thought of another bite of food. Oh and leave the kids at home wherever possible.
A lot of parenting is winging it.
No one has all of the answers, no one. Having a child is one of the hardest things that I have ever had to do. There is no goal post, and the constant pressure of knowing you are in charge of molding another human can be overwhelming sometimes. However it is also the most rewarding things I have ever done.
Judgement often says more about the person judging than you.
It’s not always the case of course, but I have found those that are the most vocal about judgement are often feeling insecure about the very thing they are judging you for. It’s like the kid in the playground who bullies another kid for being fat, despite being overweight themselves.
Holding people to your own expectations of behaviour will generally end in tears.
There is only one thing in life that we can ever control, and that is our reaction to other peoples behaviour. That doesn’t make their behaviour ok, or that you have to put up with being treated a way that you find unacceptable, but it does mean that you have a choice to how you react to it.
If your actions don’t match your values, you will be unhappy, every time.
Our values are what help guide us through life. They are the things that we accept in ourselves, and the things we will put up with from other people. Values are individual and so what may be important to me, may not be so important to you. In life we seek out people who align with these values, and when we find ourselves in relationships (friendships, loved ones etc) with people who do not meet these values, we will find ourselves increasingly unhappy.
Online friendships are just as important as face to face ones.
I hate the belief that friendships forged online, sometimes with people that you will never meet, are less real than ones you created face to face. I share just as much with people who I talk to online as I do with those friends I see day to day. I care about all of my friends, whether they live near or far. The world wide web has opened up the world so much for me, and most of the time it’s a pretty awesome place.
A sleep dodging child does not make you a bad parent.
I could write a whole post on what not to say to a parent of a sleep dodger (hell I just might!) but one of the most annoying is ‘I wouldn’t let my child stay up that late’. With a sleep dodger, there is nothing about letting them. The child cannot sleep, at all. They want to sleep, but they can’t. They aren’t a bad child and they don’t have bad parents.
There will always be people who choose to be ignorant.
Sometimes, because clearly I hate myself, I read the comment sections on news sites or their Facebook pages. It is never pretty and there is always ignorance. They aren’t trolls, they just really believe that their point of view is correct. It’s sad and sometimes it makes me so angry that my eyes twitch but I have to remind myself that like most judgement, their words say more about them than they do about me.
Choose your words wisely.
We’re all guilty of saying things in the heat of the moment, things that as soon as they are out of our mouth we wish we could steal them back. Words can do so much damage to a vulnerable person, they burrow under the skin and fester like a sore. It’s important to try to ask ourselves if what we are telling someone is helpful. Is it something they need to hear? What is the motivation behind needing to tell them? It’s not about being positive all of the time, just being mindful of our words and the impact they can have.
What are your big life lessons?
Do you shop on a full or an empty stomach?
Linking up with Jess for IBOT!