The day the universe laughed

On Monday it was abundantly clear that the Universe hated me, at least when it came to food.  I was trying my hardest to actually put in effort to eat responsibly but the Universe was having none of that rubbish.

It all started the night before.  I couldn’t sleep, not a single wink.  I tried and all that happened was I was left staring at the ceiling.  At 530am I gave up and decided to get up, figuring that I could enjoy the quiet time to catch up on some blogging.  I also figured that since I was awake, I may as well eat some breakfast.

I have never been much of a breakfast eater so I settled for a shake instead.  I had some in the cupboard that I hadn’t touched in a while but they were out of date.  I figured it was just powder and it wouldn’t make a difference.  Oh it makes all the difference.  Milk solid powder might last longer than milk, but it still tastes the same once it’s past its used by date.

Giving up on the shake I tried for some toast.  That wasn’t be either because the bread was mouldy and I had forgotten that the Vegemite had run out on the Friday before.  It was grocery day so the cupboards were looking a bit mother hubbard.  I gave up on the breakfast idea and decided to have a glass of cordial instead…the cordial that ran out the night before.

Putting all of this behind me, I decided to get on with the groceries, looking forward to my usual treat of sushi afterwards.  I had actually gotten through the groceries in a reasonable amount of time so I got Mr 5 donut and headed off to the sushi place to get my lunch.

All was going well, they had all of the kind I liked so I put the container of sushi in one of the shopping bags and made my way home.  This was to be my undoing.  Mr 5 wanted to eat lunch at the shop…maybe I should have listened to him.  I got home, packed away the groceries and settled on the couch to eat my sushi.  It was hitting all of the right spots until I got to the egg salad roll.  It appeared that the soy sauce sitting under the roll had leaked through it, it tasted foul.  At least I got to eat 2 rolls before my lunch was spoiled.

I gave up on food for the rest of the day.  Instead I looked forward to the creamy pasta I had planned to make for dinner.  I had hacked away at the packet of frozen bacon that I had been too lazy to separate so that I didn’t have to defrost 1kg of bacon.  I put out the chicken in the fridge to defrost and I couldn’t wait to have my creamy pasta.  At 530pm I walked into the kitchen, ready to make dinner.

The chicken was defrosted by this stage and I grabbed it out of the fridge so I could start dinner.  I looked at the packet…and you know where this going don’t you…that’s right it wasn’t chicken.  It wasn’t even fit for human consumption meat, it was dog food.  I was devastated.  I searched through the freezer and there was no chicken to be found, at least none that wasn’t in nugget form.

I resigned to having nuggets for dinner, I figured at least I couldn’t bugger that up.  Oh how the Universe laughed and laughed.  I burnt the fuckers, not even the dog would eat them.  At this point I just gave up and we had a sandwich for dinner.

Have you had a day recently where it felt like the Universe was just taking the piss?

4 thoughts on “The day the universe laughed

  1. Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit

    Oh no!!
    LOL. You make me laugh though. “I burnt the fuckers and not even the dog would eat them”. That’s hysterical. I did that with the garlic bread the other night AND burnt my wrist in the process. Given I was making garlic bread to fill the family up (given the rest of the meal was a measly salad due to my health kick) it made for a rather grumpy household.
    I hope your week got better.
    Happy Friday!
    Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit

  2. Angela

    I too had a laugh at your comment about the nuggets. I really hate it when you have those sort of days. I had a day recently where I was so clumsy that I seemed to be dropping things everywhere. I couldn’t even walk near the bench without accidentally knocking something off. I soon resigned to the couch for some relief.


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