We all have moments in our lives that we wish we could do over. Maybe the first awkward conversation with your crush. Or your first fight with your best friend. I try not to dwell too much on the past (ha!) but I often find myself laying in bed thinking about the things that I have done and what I would change.
If I had a time machine..I would tell my 14 year old self that her science teacher is full of shit, and is not worth 4 years of starving yourself over. That her comments of ‘oh my you’ve lost too much weight now’ are not to be celebrated.
If I had a time machine..I would tell my 15 year old self that Borderline Personality Disorder is not the death sentence that Dr Google tells you. You will also make your 16th birthday, your 18th, your 21st and your 25th despite professionals telling you otherwise.
If I had a time machine..I would tell my 16 year old self that in the grand scheme of things who you lose your virginity to doesn’t matter, and it’s perfectly ok to deny their friend request on Facebook.
If I had a time machine..I would tell my 17 year old self to stop the never ending cycle with the boyfriend who doesn’t care about you. If he doesn’t want to be seen in public with you, he doesn’t deserve to ever be seen with you.
If I had a time machine..I would tell my 18 year old self to forget the words whispered about you at university. Being asked to leave residential accommodation says more about the uneducated people in charge than it does you. You also don’t ’cause’ anyone to self harm.
If I had a time machine..I would tell my 19 year old self not to settle. Don’t say yes to the first person who shows you a bit of affection.
If I had a time machine..I would tell my 20 year old self to please be careful. Walking the streets at night, alone, is asking for trouble. The police are picking you up for your safety.
If I had a time machine..I would tell my 21 year old self to enjoy your pregnancy. It will show you who your friends are, and you will make much better ones. Set up those safe guards now, don’t listen to your case manager who says ‘it’ll be right’.
If I had a time machine..I would tell my 22 year old self to celebrate my body more. You have never had a good relationship, but this is the best it has ever been, don’t sabotage it.
If I had a time machine..I would tell my 23 year old self to keep moving forward. Your motivation will begin to wane, please speak up before it gets too bad. Don’t let yourself get stuck in the rut.
If I had a time machine..I would tell my 24 year old self not to get so caught up in Facebook fights and drama. It doesn’t matter, life will go on without you, you will wake up one day and wonder what the hell happened. You are not the person that people who dislike you say you are, start listening to your friends, to the people who care about you.
When I sat down to write this post I thought that it would be filled with regret, of things that I had stupidly done. I’m pleasantly surprised that it’s not. Introspection is important, it’s important to realise where we came from and where we need to go from here. We are made up of our past, but our future is where we have the chance to shine.
What would you tell your younger self if you had a time machine?