We all have moments in our lives that we wish we could do over. Maybe the first awkward conversation with your crush. Or your first fight with your best friend. I try not to dwell too much on the past (ha!) but I often find myself laying in bed thinking about the things that I have done and what I would change.
If I had a time machine..I would tell my 14 year old self that her science teacher is full of shit, and is not worth 4 years of starving yourself over. That her comments of ‘oh my you’ve lost too much weight now’ are not to be celebrated.
If I had a time machine..I would tell my 15 year old self that Borderline Personality Disorder is not the death sentence that Dr Google tells you. You will also make your 16th birthday, your 18th, your 21st and your 25th despite professionals telling you otherwise.
If I had a time machine..I would tell my 16 year old self that in the grand scheme of things who you lose your virginity to doesn’t matter, and it’s perfectly ok to deny their friend request on Facebook.
If I had a time machine..I would tell my 17 year old self to stop the never ending cycle with the boyfriend who doesn’t care about you. If he doesn’t want to be seen in public with you, he doesn’t deserve to ever be seen with you.
If I had a time machine..I would tell my 18 year old self to forget the words whispered about you at university. Being asked to leave residential accommodation says more about the uneducated people in charge than it does you. You also don’t ’cause’ anyone to self harm.
If I had a time machine..I would tell my 19 year old self not to settle. Don’t say yes to the first person who shows you a bit of affection.
If I had a time machine..I would tell my 20 year old self to please be careful. Walking the streets at night, alone, is asking for trouble. The police are picking you up for your safety.
If I had a time machine..I would tell my 21 year old self to enjoy your pregnancy. It will show you who your friends are, and you will make much better ones. Set up those safe guards now, don’t listen to your case manager who says ‘it’ll be right’.
If I had a time machine..I would tell my 22 year old self to celebrate my body more. You have never had a good relationship, but this is the best it has ever been, don’t sabotage it.
If I had a time machine..I would tell my 23 year old self to keep moving forward. Your motivation will begin to wane, please speak up before it gets too bad. Don’t let yourself get stuck in the rut.
If I had a time machine..I would tell my 24 year old self not to get so caught up in Facebook fights and drama. It doesn’t matter, life will go on without you, you will wake up one day and wonder what the hell happened. You are not the person that people who dislike you say you are, start listening to your friends, to the people who care about you.
When I sat down to write this post I thought that it would be filled with regret, of things that I had stupidly done. I’m pleasantly surprised that it’s not. Introspection is important, it’s important to realise where we came from and where we need to go from here. We are made up of our past, but our future is where we have the chance to shine.
What would you tell your younger self if you had a time machine?
What a great reflective post and I am SOOOOOOOOOOO glad that you weren’t filled with regrets over what you have done. I truly believe the past is the past and no matter what, that is where it should stay.
Have a great weekend and take care !
I dwell a lot on the past and struggle with what if’s so I have to be honest and say that I was a little bit surprised when this post came out lol! I think I know deep down that my constant worrying does nothing..now if only I could get myself to truly believe it!
There are things I’d tell myself that I don’t think I can ever admit out loud or in writing. But in my head I know I’d do things differently. If only we could go back, knowing then what we know now. x Aroha
I don’t know if I would really change anything, all of the things that I did make up who I am today and while I definitely learned a lot of things the hard way..I wouldn’t be who I am today without them.
I liked this very positive post, Tegan. I’d tell myself to relax and smell the roses more, especially when my kids were little. I deeply regret not being in the moment enough.
It’s hard finding the balance between being in the moment and not letting life pass us by sometimes xx
This is a great way of looking back. I like the tone of understanding rather than ‘regret’ as such. My teenage self was an idiot, in hindsight. I wasted time on silly boys and self loathing when I could have been achieving a lot of other things. It makes me sad when I see young people still making those same mistakes. It just seems to go with the territory (or the hormones, or something). I’m not sure if I’d change things in my time machine, because I wouldn’t be who /where I am today, but it would certainly have been nice to avoid a few of the hurts along the way.
I think it comes with the territory too. It makes me sad thinking about how much time I spent hating my body and myself. I wish that I was as fat now as I thought I was back then!
What a wonderful post! I really enjoyed reading this. I think I would tell my younger self to just relax and stop worrying about things you can’t change… actually I also need to tell my current self this!!! xxx
I need to tell my current self that as well!
Great post Tegan. I would start around the age of 4 and work my way forward. Though I couldn’t risk changing that might change my kids. So, the week after Ruthie was born I would pretty much tell myself to do every single last thing differently from that moment onwards. Still, this year’s going ok, so far 🙂
My life definitely changed for the better after I had Mr 4 and I wouldn’t take him back for all the money in the world so I don’t think I would want to change too much. Maybe more of a reassuring, ‘it’s not always going to be this shit’.
Yes, that could have come in handy at times 🙂
I love this post and I love the way you approached it. It is a wonderfully reflective piece. I do have to agree with Allison though, but that comes after watching the movie About Time as I doubt I really would have thought too much about it otherwise (I really recommend this movie).
If I could give my younger self some advice it would be the boring adult type stuff like study – it is amazing what can be achieved with a little effort, “those” boys don’t matter, but most of all it would be to have more fun. I really always thought too much about the consequences of my actions that I often didn’t do much wrong (as in things that would get me into trouble). I would also remind myself that being a good friend is always important and not to get so caught up in my own life that I lose contact.
I think you’re a pretty awesome friend now..I guess maybe it’s about finding the right kind of friends. The ones who you just pick up as if you spoke yesterday, even if it has been six months since the last time you spoke.
I think I would tell myself to love myself more and that I am worth it. But I don’t think I would change any of my experiences because they all contributed to who I am today. Great post Tegan!
Yep I often thing the same thing when I wonder if I would change what I did in the past.
Brad Paisley sings a song called ‘Letter to Me’ where he sings about what he’d say if he wrote a letter to his teenage self… It always gets me thinking, just like this post has! I am bit entirely sure what my ‘letter to me’ would say but am sure it would include something along the lines of, “you are worth it, respect and love yourself, you don’t need to date guys just because they show you attention, look after yourself and put yourself first, be selfish sometimes and don’t pay so much attention to what other people think of you (or what you think they think of you)”
(Probably advice I could still really use now!)
Respect and love myself are definitely things that I need to tell myself now too!
I love this. It’s inspirational and thank you, Tegan, for sharing it xxx
My pleasure xx
This is great Tegan. I’ve never stopped to think about what I would tell myself if I could go back in time. This post has certainly go me thinking about it now. Thank you for sharing.
To be honest I hadn’t thought about it either until I sat down to write this post. I was laying in bed one night and the idea just came to me..I made sure to scribble it down or I knew that I wouldn’t remember it in the morning.
I would tell myself that my instinct to get out was the right one, and it could have been done earlier.
I love this post Tegan, it really resonates with me. It’s funny the crazy things we used to think when we were younger, and how a bit of perspective can change everything. I have too many of these to put in one comment, I might steal your idea and write a post of my own. Love ya work!
Brilliant post Tegan so positive and important. No point in having regrets it is lessons that we learn. I would probably tell myself not to drink so much although I id have lots of fun .. Ha :). Thanks for sharing your lessons x
Bang on, introspection is important!
I’d tell my 30 year old self to forget about that douchebag boyfriend and just chill. Marriage, children, family life will happen. And it’ll be even better than what you could possibly ever imagine.
I love your raw honesty here and on other SM sites. I’m not sure I could write this post, I tend to refuse to look back it’s too scary. However, in saying that If I could tell myself something it would be to cease the moment, believe in myself and trust my instincts.
Love this post! So good to think about a time machine and what you would tell you younger self….if only we had the wisdom back then that we have now.
I have so much that I would tell myself now if I could go back in a time machine…..and the number one thing would be to trust my inner voice!
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