I’m a superstitious person, mostly. I also try to fight my superstitious thoughts with logic. Logic is never changing, logic is comforting. I turn to logic when nothing seems to make sense. Superstition however rules a lot of my life, as much as it pains me to say so.
I’m a firm believer in Murphy’s Law. I don’t comment on the run of green lights until we are through because I have this deep seeded belief that if I do, the luck will run out. It doesn’t seem very logical does it? I even feel silly for writing this down, admitting that I run my life on a series of rules that make no sense.
I don’t like to comment on how good Mr 4 has been because I feel it will be followed by some of his worst behaviour that I have encountered. I try not to tell people when he is sleeping well, because then he won’t be. I *know* that this sounds paranoid, I just can’t seem to shake the feeling that what I say has an input on how things turn out.
Having Borderline Personality Disorder means that sometimes my thoughts can be very black and white. I work hard to see the grey area and mostly manage to fake it until I make it. Maybe the Borderline has something to do with the thoughts that are skewed towards superstition. Maybe they aren’t. I don’t know. I do know that my needing to be either logical or not is influenced by the Borderline. I struggle to see how there is an in between.
I don’t like having rules that dictate my day, my words and my actions. I struggle to put the thoughts out of my mind, to remind myself that they are nothing more than silly rules. I *know* that nothing will happen if I don’t adhere to them, but the what ifs sometimes scream louder than my logical mind.
Some days the superstitions take over. I feel paralysed with the fear. I don’t want to talk out of turn, to get excited about something before it happens. I try to let life just happen but it’s scary and unpredictable.
Do you have superstitions? Do you find yourself frozen by them?
Linking up with My Home Truths for I must confess
Some. Mostly I can overcome them, but some days are worse than others. Salt is the big one, must always always throw it over my left shoulder (into the face of the devil as I was taught as a child, even though I don’t believe in the devil :)) and touching wood, or any other surface in synchronicity and to a set pattern. If I don’t get it just right I have to start over.
We have a thing called “mocking’s catching” in Scotland, so you don’t make a joke about getting ill, or bad luck happening to someone else because the universe will hear you mock and you will catch the bad luck. By the same token, I used to always touch wood when I said something complimentary or good about myself or my family, so I understand that compulsion. Sometimes I still do. Fear that the universe will be listening and think – oh, really?! Well eff you…
I knew an Indian lady at school who told me that if someone gave her children a compliment back in India she would spit through her fingers as a way of warding off the evil eye, she said this was the custom.
When I am going down into a depression or anxiety spiral these behaviours are at their worst, a definite tell.
Anyway, hope Mr is sleeping well, but I won’t ask 🙂
I always touch wood too. I’ve never heard of mocking’s catching, that’s interesting.
I am superstitious about certain things too. I don’t walk under ladders, I freak out if anyone puts their shoes on the table, I knock on wood to prevent bad things happening after talking about good things. I sound a little silly I know but you can never be too sure. I also believe bad things happen in three’s.
I always think about the what ifs too..
Actually I’m not superstitious at all – I put new shoes on the table, open up umbrellas inside. But I have to admit that I do believe as soon as I say something is great it changes, but that’s just coincidence. But I also don’t believe in luck, what is that saying it’s been planning meets opportunity or something like that. I hope your gorgeous wee man is getting better with his sleeping, but don’t tell me just in case xx
It’s not really getting better so it’s ok 😉
Lol Janet, what’s with the new shoes on the table thing? My mother in law is over the top with that one and about a hundred other things.
Hoping the sleep factor improves with your son Tegan.
I’ve never heard of that one either!
I am not a superstitious person at all. Logic totally rules my world. But you can’t totally discount Murphy’s Law…thanks for sharing Tegan!