Keeping it real

I signed up for Reverb13 this year.  It’s a great blog hop that helps to gather your thoughts ready for the new year.  Each day a prompt is sent via email.  The great thing about the prompt is that you can interpret it any way you wish.  Head on over to I Saw You Dancing to check it out.

I wanted to write something light.  I wanted to write something fluffy.  Things around here have been pretty heavy of late.  I wanted to write something that was opposite of how I feel, deep down.  I wanted to plaster a smile on this blog, keep saying I’m fine, I’m fine.  I just sat staring at the computer.

Each night I go to bed ready to conquer the world.  I tell myself that things will be different tomorrow.  There will be change, however subtle that may be.  Then I wake up and reality hits.

I feel like I have been saying ‘I’m gonna’ all year.  I feel like a broken record and I am sick of making promises to the cyber space just so that I can break them.

I know that while I feel like burrowing under the blankets and living there for the rest of my days, that I am better than I used to be.  I am NOT back to the beginning.  This is not square one.  This is a completely different path.  There is more to factor in.  The difference is that now I know how I feel.  I can articulate how I am feeling.  I have a professional in my corner.

I don’t know what the new year will bring.  I don’t know what the next month will bring.  What I do know is that I am saying BRING IT ON!  I CAN do this.  I WILL do this.  I have too much to loose and everything to gain.

How are you feeling on this day? Do you have plans for who you will be in the New Year?

Linking with Essentially Jess for IBOT

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35 thoughts on “Keeping it real

  1. Lydia C. Lee

    Thought for the Day yesterday (from My Journey – are we there yet?) was ‘There are many different ways to move forward, but only one way to stand still’. I haven’t got to next year, still madly swimming to get to the end of this one, but I am well and truly over this one, so here’s to a better 2014 for us all. How that happens, we shall see.

  2. Renee at Mummy, Wife, Me

    Good for you, Tegan! Your ability to stay strong and focused on the future and where you have come from is inspiring. I am finding it hard to feel positive myself today and will be battling through just like you. Here’s to a better new year though!

  3. Becc

    I do the same thing every night just to wake up and find that it is still the same as yesterday. I am taking a time out, maybe you need a little time for yourself too.

    1. Tegan Post author

      Good on you for taking a time out. Unfortunately at the moment it’s not really feasible but I am looking forward to spending more time with Paul once he finishes work for the year.

  4. Angela

    I guess we all at times feel that we are standing still, not getting to where we want to be and it all just feels the same. The truth is though, as we all seem to have found, is that for many of us, we may not even see daily changes, but by striving, we can achieve 🙂 I will get there, you will get there, and any one who truly wishes to, will get to a place they are happy with. I do hope though that we never actually arrive at our destinations as such as then we will have nothing to work toward 🙂

    You are right though, “you are NOT back to the beginning. This is not square one. This is a completely different path. There is more to factor in. The difference is that now you know how you feel. You can articulate how you are feeling. You have a professional in your corner.” And you also have a lot of people who care about you 🙂

    Keep on wanting change and it will come 🙂

  5. Twitchy

    Relating hugely. Some of us were not destined to be overnight successes (to ourselves, if not the world) and are in for the long haul. I believe in late bloomers. I have to. Best of luck to you, Tegan x #teamIBOT

  6. floodproofmum

    I am not in next year mode yet but I have achieved a lot this year by changing many things in my life that I wasn’t happy with. I hope you find the enthusiasm to make the changes you are promising yourself. You are not back to the beginning because you are looking forward…now to find the right way to get there. You are well on your way Tegan and I enjoy reading about your endeavours xx Cheers, Tanya

  7. Zita Hooke

    I sometimes find the whole idea of new year resolutions a bit frustrating.. I can see why people need them but I sometimes believe in the old saying “why put off til tomorrow what you can do today”. Why wait until a new year starts to make a change? Having said all that though, you have to be ready to make that step… I kept saying for months that I was going to sign up for Michelle Bridges 12wbt when….this…when that…. I obviously wasn’t ready, I knew I’d know when I was, and I did.
    We can’t force things to happen, there is a time when it will be right.
    I am very much looking forward to 2014…I don’t know why, I don’t know what I think is going to be different, but as far as years go 2013 has pretty much sucked…. So I am with you! BRING IT ON!!!

    1. Tegan Post author

      2013 has sucked balls for me too so I think that is more why I am looking forward to it. I tend to think that we should make changes when we can, not wait until the new year, new week etc.

  8. EssentiallyJess

    You and I were obviously having similar thoughts Tegan. 🙂
    I’ve got no idea for next year honestly, and that’s odd for me. My plan is just to keep plodding along at this stage. 🙂

    1. Tegan Post author

      Plodding along is a plan, but we can call it going with the flow so it has a much more zen sound about it 🙂

  9. Bec @ The Plumbette

    I haven’t thought about what I want to work towards next year but this post has prompted me to ponder and think about it. Tegan. I love your honesty and I am sending positive vibes your way so that next year will be your best yet. 🙂

  10. Emma Fahy Davis

    Oh I am so right there with you in the ‘tomorrow I’m gonna..’ club, I just can’t seem to catch tomorrow. I haven’t even thought about next year, I’m still firmly in denial that it’s December but I’m sure it will be more of the same – get my head together, get my life together…

  11. Emily @ Have A Laugh On Me

    Right now I can’t see how I can get through another night of kids not sleeping, but then once they are asleep I know it’s not that bad! I have achieved so little this but then again I have done my best and that is the best I can hope for. I’ll be right there beside you – doing what Dory says – just keep swimming xxxx

  12. Alison

    You are the one who has to get up every morning and do what needs to be done for your little guy, you have managed to get through a lot of rough times and emotional turmoil, you have had to fight every step of the way to get real mental health help and not be overlooked and ignored by the very professionals that should have been supporting you. You are one of the most resilient people it is my pleasure to follow online and have found your way through things that would have defeated many people, and on top of all that you manage to still care about other people and try to help them with your posts. Damn right you’re not back to the beginning. You’re a sight better educated and more focused than I was at your age. Be kind to yourself, so long as you are looking after your wee chap and your own mental health for now, that’s a lot, anything else is a bonus.

  13. Sarah@SnippetsandSpirits

    No point painting a smile on. keeping it real is what will get you through the shit. Blogging you’re feelings is what will help you get through and keep understanding. So don’t worry about the heavy posts when so many others can clearly relate to you.


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