I must confess that mental illness is a selfish bitch.
I have a mental illness. I have been struggling with mental health related issues for the last 11 years. There is a good chance that many of them I will continue to struggle with for the rest of my life unless I remember to take good care of my mental wellness. I have a mental illness. I am not defined by my mental illness. I am a mother, daughter, sister, friend. I am not Depression or Borderline Personality Disorder.
Mental illness is selfish. Mental illness doesn’t care that you have a family. It doesn’t care that you have a career. It doesn’t care that you have friends.
Depression doesn’t care that you are a good person. Depression is a lying cow, who will have you believe the words you tell yourself. Depression doesn’t care that people don’t understand you. It doesn’t care that your life is turning to shit. Depression is not your friend. It lays it’s blanket of darkness over you, until the only thing you can see is darkness. Depression so much that you believe you are no longer worth something. Depression would rather see you dead.
Mental Illness is selfish. It doesn’t care that your family are at their breaking point. It does not care that you have children to take care of. Mental illness consumes you until it’s hard to determine where it ends and you begin. You are so much more than a series of symptoms. You are more than the mental illness. You are a person, not an illness.
Mental Illness is selfish but we are not. Having a mental illness means that we may need to take time out from people more often. It may mean that some days we just need a day in bed. Having a mental illness does not make us bad people. It just means that we are in need of a little more careful handling.
Mental Illness is selfish but we really wish it wasn’t. We need your love. We need your care and we hope that when we push that you’ll push right on back. We hope that while building our towers of loneliness that someone out there will help us to take the bricks down.
I have a Mental Illness. I am not a Mental Illness.
Linking up with Kirsty at My Home Truths