After being in labour for hours (or days for some), there is no relief felt like hearing your baby cry for the first time. The sound is music to your ears, a sign that your baby is breathing and in those first few seconds that things are going to be ok.
Then in the time up until our babes can start to get their words out to communicate, we use crying as their cues. Babies use crying to tell us they are hurt, they are upset, they are hungry or just because. We welcome their crying (some of the time at least :P) because it means they are connecting with us. Then as they get older, into childhood and then teens…we begin to scold crying. It is frowned up and seen as a weakness. Why?
Have you ever had a gut wrenching, full body sobbing cry? How did you feel afterwards? Pretty shit right, then after a few minutes the tears begin to dry, the fog starts to lift and it feels like a weight has been lifted. I feel better after a big cry, a cleansing full body dump of emotions.
Maybe if we saw crying as what it is, a release of emotions, a way to communicate in adults just as much as babies we wouldn’t have so much stress and anger. Many people use tears to manipulate others into feeling sorry for them. It’s hard to stay angry when someone is a blubbering mess. Maybe this is a good thing, allowing both parties time to regroup and better construct their plan of action. Our emotional mind is always the first to act, leaving the logical mind for dead. Crying is much more productive than turning to a foaming at the mouth, raging monster.
Imagine feeling no guilt or shame about having a good cry every now and then. Studies have shown that emotional crying releases endorphins aka the ‘feel good’ hormones. They have also shown that the act of crying rids the body of hormones and toxins that are accumulated when the body is in the state of stress. So crying really is a body cleanse!
Do you enjoy a good cry? What are your stress relievers?
Oh I definitely enjoy a good cry… but I do feel a little guilty or even ashamed about it. It’s a good point though to see it as a means of communication. Thanks for letting me know that emotional crying releases endorphins. Good to know! x
I hate crying too, so this post was just as much for me, as it was for everyone else. I know that I do feel a little better after a cry but I had no idea about the science behind it.
You raise some great points, T… I have a good cry every now and then, usually in private… I momentarily lose my shiz, cry it out, then I start to feel better….
Why do we tell our kids to stop crying?
Usually because we are frustrated at them. Well I know for me it is anyway. I’m making a conscious effort to validate DS when he cries, telling him it’s ok, mummy’s here etc without him crying all of the time. If that makes sense.
I really love this – and it reminds me I need to be kinder to my lil’ sharts when they cry – which is A LOT at the moment xx Then again I’m a mega crier, I have been from a young age so they were bound to be sobers too – but I agree we need to just let them cry – THANKS 🙂 I’m truly going to be note on my fridge to remind myself to not say – STOP CRYING!
It’s one of the things I need to work on too.