The newborn stage wins hands down as my least favourite stage…so far. I hated being in charge of this helpless little person and having no fucking idea what he wanted half the time (or so it felt at the time). A sleep deprived me is also not pretty..cue emotional crying mess.
Friends have told me I look good with a newborn…natural. I’m happy to nurse your squishy, cute newborn and will happily put my hands out when you ask if I want a nurse. I’m also quite happy to hand them over when they start screaming or pooping..have fun with that. What I’m not happy with, is doing it all over again myself.
I really struggle to be overjoyed for friends when I find out they are expecting their first. It sounds horrible but I find it hard to get past how I felt during those first few months.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for them and their excitement. I just can’t help the niggling in the back of my mind as everyone assures them of the ‘rainbows and butterflies’ they are going to experience when they are pregnant and then hold their bundle of joy in their arms. I’m the friend that has to hold back from saying ‘Welcome to Hell’.
Maybe I’m just cynical or maybe I just like to tell it how it is, rather than approach the world with rose coloured glasses. Having a baby is awesome and your life will be changed forever. However it isn’t always rainbows and butterflies, sometimes it just down right sucks. Some days a straight jacket and a padded room seems like a GREAT option, some days you don’t see an issue with wanting to put your kids on the street with a sign that says ‘Free to a good home’.
Just to throw a spanner in the works though, and when you think that you can’t possibly take anymore, you get your first smile. You watch them take their first steps, hear their first belly laugh and watch as they become more independent. Somehow that makes it all worth it and you’re glad you didn’t sell them on ebay (even if you already had an awesome new pair of shoes picked out to spend with your profits).