*Trigger warning* Please note that the following post discusses weight and disordered eating. Please make sure you are in a safe place before reading.
Food and I have had a disordered relationship for a long time. I have used food to punish and to soothe. I have used it to attempt to fill a void and restricted it when I believed I deserved it. I have struggled to see food as just food, instead demonising it and using shame to beat myself with. My weight has yo-yoed many times over the years.
**I was sent one mobile phone in order to complete this review. All opinions are my own**
When I am having a bad day, you can almost guarantee it is because I haven’t exercised in some shape or form. I’m incredibly unfit and I don’t enjoy exercising, but I do know that when I do it, I feel so much better for it. I’m a big fan of the incidental exercise, much to the chagrin of Mr 8. He got the lazy gene from his Mama.
This year we have been walking to and from school everyday. When we started, Mr 8 complained so much that one would think I was making him complete a marathon each day, not the 1.5km we walked to school. It’s August now and we’ve only just reached the point where he has accepted that we are walking this term.
I knew that I wouldn’t be the only one in this position so I decided to share my tips for a way to get to whinge free exercise!
Anxiety is something that I have been dealing with in increasing intensity after the last few years. It has stopped me from doing things that I love. It has stopped me from doing things with people that I love. Worst of all, the guilt of not doing those things has been worse than the anxiety too.
I have been adding to my therapy toolbox with my psychologist. Being mentally healthy is hard work, but with practice some of these skills come without me having to think about it. I want to share those tips with you.
Bullet Journals seem to be all the rage at the moment. Or at least in my news feed. I looked into them because I am a lover of lists. Plus any excuse to buy a new notebook is good in my opinion. However Bullet Journals didn’t seem to be my style. One of the things that I have learned over the last few years is that recovery is about creating and filling a toolbox. There isn’t just one way to get well. Sometimes it is about taking bits and pieces from different therapies to fill your toolbox. Sometimes it is about creating your own techniques that work with your life. That is where Ta-Da Journalling comes in!
We’re all familiar with the traditional to-do list, well this one is a little different. Instead of writing all of the things that I plan to do in a day (which when you are in a depressive slump feels a mile long) I sit down at the end of the day and write the things that I have already achieved.
I realised that when I was feeling down or anxious that my first response was to lament about all of the things that I was failing at. I was quick to point out the things that I hadn’t achieved, while forgetting about the things that I had actually gotten done that day.
The best part about a Ta-Da Journal? Everything you do in a day is an achievement. Got out of bed this morning? Write it down. Showered for the first time in 3 days? Write it down. It doesn’t matter how small you think the achievement is. Write it down.
There’s no special way to create a Ta-Da Journal. All you need is an empty notebook and a writing utensil. You can make it as plain or colourful as your heart desires. I have written an index at the start of my journal with the page numbers for each month.
On days that I feel like I haven’t achieved a single thing, it’s helpful to be reminded that I have achieved so much more. It’s also helpful to read back through the entries and see the progress of my achievements. Plus, like I said, I love lists!
So if you are feeling like everything is getting on top of you and nothing is getting done, I really recommend a Ta-Da Journal. Our brains are pretty good at lying to us when we have a mental illness, so facing it head on (pardon the pun!) with cold hard facts is often the best way forward.
I’ve been using Facebook for around 9 years. Before that I sporadically used a myriad of social media channels throughout my teen years. Unlike Facebook though, most of those channels are now gone and I’m not faced with cringe worthy reminders of the things I wrote when my emotional intelligence wasn’t at the level it is now. Thank you Facebook memories!Emotional intelligence doesn’t have anything to do with a person’s IQ or the grades they got in school. A person can be a rocket scientist and still have zero emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence refers to someone’s ability to evaluate, express, identify and control their emotions.
This type of intelligence helps us to navigate interpersonal relationships effectively. Someone with a low emotional intelligence often lacks the insight into their emotions and how the expression of those emotions impacts on those around them. People who have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), like myself, are often diagnosed because their emotional responses are out of sync with what is happening around them.
When I was quite unwell, it showed in my online activity. Even now, when I am having a bad day, it shows. When I was unwell, before I started therapy, I didn’t think about the consequences of the things I posted on my social media. I didn’t worry about the fact that not everything I shared was mine to share. I lacked insight into my actions and the emotions ruled.
Over the last couple of years the online space has changed dramatically. Facebook and micro blogging reigns supreme and there’s been a huge push back against curated social media. Raw and honest has become what the masses are screaming for but I worry about how that translates to real time posting and the people who get caught in the crossfire.
I think that having a high level of emotional intelligence is extremely important when it comes to being a public figure on social media. Having the ability to assess risk, communicate effectively and still have your thoughts heard is valuable in the fast paced environment of social media. A strong emotional intelligence doesn’t mean that you don’t share raw and honest, but it does mean that you have a greater insight into the wider impact of your actions.
Social media is an absolute minefield of opinions, not all of them are going to gel with yours and hell some of them might even be about you. It’s easy to go with our emotional response, instead of our wise mind when something we disagree with happens. It’s easy to lash out at the people who have upset us.
Emotional intelligence is what steps in when that response pushes to the forefront of our minds. It’s what stops us from posting about our dickhead bosses. The post might be true, the person might have wronged you, but have you really thought about the consequences? I know I didn’t when I was unwell.