The online world of parenting has firmly shifted into the realm of being ‘real’. The more raw you are, the better. Where there used to be a martyr rivalry, there is now a competition for who can appear the most neglectful without actually harming your children.Women are applauded for admitting that they can’t do it all. On the surface this isn’t a bad thing. No one is perfect, and the belief that it is can be detrimental. Most of us are able to look at those who are being raw and say ‘that’s nice, but not for me.’ What about the women who are struggling? Does this movement really help them?
*The following post contains descriptions of self harm. Please ensure you are in a safe place before reading*BANG! BANG! BANG!
“Hands where I can see them inmate.”
She woke with a start, disorientated in the bright fluorescent lights that lined the inside of her cell. She looked towards the small window in her door and saw the sneering face of the guard who had woken her.
A few weeks ago a discussion started on a friend’s status update about the stupid things that crisis line workers had suggested when we were in crisis. It was the catalyst for a rant to Paul about the unfairness of relying on other people to help you when you were feeling vulnerable. It spilled into conversations with my psychologist about how I now use having to deal with crisis lines as a deterrent for self harm.It was through these conversations that it hit me just how unbalanced the power is when it comes to a person with a mental illness. This imbalance spills into other parts of their life as well. Their physical needs are often written off as symptoms of a mental illness. Chest pain is a panic attack, stomach pain is anxiety, an allergic reaction is depression (this one happened to someone I know!).
I’ve been using Facebook for around 9 years. Before that I sporadically used a myriad of social media channels throughout my teen years. Unlike Facebook though, most of those channels are now gone and I’m not faced with cringe worthy reminders of the things I wrote when my emotional intelligence wasn’t at the level it is now. Thank you Facebook memories!Emotional intelligence doesn’t have anything to do with a person’s IQ or the grades they got in school. A person can be a rocket scientist and still have zero emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence refers to someone’s ability to evaluate, express, identify and control their emotions.
Every person has a different experience of anxiety and how it impacts their life. For a long time I didn’t think that I had anxiety. It wasn’t until I was writing a short story a few years ago, that I realised I did. Reading another post made me see that my anxiety was manifesting itself as anger. I thought I had an anger problem, when I had an anxiety problem.