I have a controversial confession to make, I don’t always miss my son when I am not spending time with him. For a long time I felt guilty about it because I thought that it proved that I didn’t have a bond with my son. It sounds strange when I write it down, I’m feeling guilty about not feeling guilty.When I organise to have child free time I do it with people who I trust. I know that he is safe when I am not with him and that the people he is spending time with care about his well being. I wouldn’t leave him if they didn’t. So it suddenly occurred to me a couple of years ago, that I didn’t need to feel guilty when he was spending time with other people.
This week the government held a press conference to announce their overhaul of the current mental health system. The media is celebrating this announcement as the Turnbull Government finally listening to the cries of it’s most vulnerable citizens. However I have a few concerns about the announcements and the potential for the changes to make things much worse than they already are.
Like our sleeping issues, around the age of two Mr 6 decided that most food was in fact gross and he was having no part of it. I look back at photos of him trying solids where he at almost anything put in front of him and it’s enough to make to me scream. Meal times became a struggle and a lot of the time I wondered why I even bothered cooking delicious meals. The first thing to go was the kitchen table. Mr 6 seemed to get quite distressed about being made to sit and eat. Even now he often walks around or bounces his legs while eating. The social etiquette of eating at a table just didn’t feel worth the stress it was putting on both Mr 6 and myself. He was eating more when meals were not as rigid too.
I have done a few long distance trips on buses and trains with Mr 6 over the last 6 years. The first time that he and I made the 12 hour trip from my parents place on the train, he was only a couple of months old. We’ve done that trip a few times in the mean time and most recently we travelled 8 hours to visit a friend for the school holidays. I’ve picked up a few little tips along the way to make the trip easier for everyone involved.
I’m back. After the cyclone I found the motivation was waning and I was contemplating not coming back ever. Then my domain came up for renewal and I found myself buying another two years as if on autopilot. So it seems that my subconscious has decided that you are stuck with me for another two years at least.