Category Archives: Mental Illness Personal

I know the darkness

Three posts in less than a week.  I think I am finally feeling the blog love again.  Maybe.  Either way I am going with it while it lasts.  It has been so long since I linked up with a linky party and I must confess that I have missed it.  It’s such an easy way to keep in touch with the blogosphere. read more

You don’t want to be numb

*The following post discusses self harm.  If you are feeling triggered then please seek help.  Talk to someone about how you are feeling.  If you are in immediate danger, head to your nearest Emergency Department or call 000*

“I just wish that I could feel nothing, and be numb”, is something that I read regularly in mental health groups.  It’s a desire a lot of people with Borderline Personality Disorder have in common, a desire that is born when you are walking around with emotional third degree burns.  Numb isn’t what I want, because it’s how I feel a lot of the time and it’s worse than feeling everything at once. read more

I’ve already got plans

*The following post discusses self harm.  If you are feeling unsafe please let someone know.  If you are in immediate danger please go to your nearest Emergency Department.*

Over the last 13 years I have struggled on and off with thoughts of self harm of varying degrees.  These thoughts have ranged from fleeting images to seemingly relentless onslaughts.  For a lot of years I separated those thoughts from my body, choosing to see them as an entity I was too weak to resist. read more

Self harm, guilt and parenting

*The following post talks about self harm and may be triggering.  Please ensure you are in a safe place before reading.  If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm please speak to a mental health professional or your GP*

This year it has been 13 years since I started self harming.  People believe that if you don’t actively self harm anymore then you shouldn’t really say that you are a self harmer or a person who self harms.  However I think of the action of self harming as an addiction, and so it is something that I have to work hard to not engage in. read more