Why I’m investigating my son’s quirks

Mr 6 has had a rocky relationship with sleep since he was 2 years old.  Before that he was the perfect sleeper.  I was that smug Mum who thought that because I was following the rules, my baby was sleeping.  In my quest, I wanted to know why, not just sit back and accept that he just had trouble with sleep.quirks

Alongside Mr 6’s trouble with sleep, other issues have also started to become more apparent.  These issues were a bit of a chicken and the egg.  Was it the lack of sleep which were causing the behavioural issues?  Or was it the behavioural issues causing his trouble with sleeping?  I’m not content with just wondering what if.

In the year before Mr 6 started school (he is in year 1 now) we saw a pediatric locum who tentatively said that she thought there was something other than just a lack of sleep at play.  Especially when my son spent most of the appointment hopping around the office like a frog.  However she was hesitant to investigate further because he hadn’t started school yet.

Fast forward 18 months and Mr 6 is a bundle of quirks.  I struggle with how I feel about labeling him, if there is anything to label at all.  Maybe there isn’t an explanation.  Is it possible that I am seeing things as more than they are?  I worry about doing nothing, and I worry about doing too much.

This year Mr 6 is a different kid when at school.  He has gone from a kid who received an academic award on award’s night to a kid who will sit in class and do nothing.  He hasn’t gone backwards, but he also isn’t really moving forward either.  He fidgets, loses track of what he’s doing and gets anxious about making a mistake.

I wrote a few years ago about my frustration at him not saying hello or goodbye to people we met.  This hasn’t changed, and has in fact gotten worse.  With starting school it has become more apparent that he has a very small group of people who he will talk to.  I don’t know if that is my doing, (oh he’s just shy) or if it is a sign of something else.

The pediatrician we saw last month threw a few ideas on the table.  He noticed the change in the notes provided by his school and the observations noted by the previous locums.  He wants more time and more observations before he commits to anything on paper.  I don’t know how I will feel when we get that decision.

I remember my own desperation and then relief when chasing and then receiving a diagnosis for my mental health issues.  Labels didn’t change who I was but they did give me answers.  I had an explanation for how I felt.  Maybe I am chasing an explanation for Mr 6 for my own selfish reasons right now.  I just hope that those reasons will also make it easier for him to be himself in a world that shies away from quirks.

  Do you think that a label for quirks does more harm than good?

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