Like all first time mothers, when I was pregnant I had a long list of things that I would never do when I had my baby. Most of those have been thrown to the wayside, including letting my child sleep in my bed. Most of those ideals I am happy about having thrown out, co-sleeping is not one of them.It started when the main sleep issues began at around 18 months. I just wanted to sleep and if that meant having an extra body in the bed, then I was fine with that. I told myself that once we had the sleep issues under control then I would deal with him sleeping in my bed. Little did I know at the time, those sleep issues would continue on unresolved for another 3 years.
At the risk of sounding selfish, I just want my bed back. I love my son with every fiber of my being, but my own space would be nice. I don’t enjoy having him in my bed and I find myself dreading going to bed.
I have tried to get him to sleep in his own bed. He starts off the night in his own bed. I have taken him back to his own bed when he has come into mine. This has lasted for hours and hours. I have tried using a reward chart and talking to him about why he feels he needs to be in my bed. Nothing is working and I am finding myself getting increasingly frustrated.
People reading this may think that I am not being particularly motherly. It may come across as me putting my needs before my child. That I even don’t love him. It couldn’t be further from the truth. I need time out to be a better mother. I need adequate sleep to be a better mother. My son needs to learn that his needs are important but that they aren’t the only important ones in the family.
I co-sleep and I hate it. I want to change it, but I am at a bit of a loss as to how. I love my child, but I don’t want him in my bed. I co-sleep and I hate it, but that’s ok.
Do you co-sleep? Do you love it or hate it?