Like all first time mothers, when I was pregnant I had a long list of things that I would never do when I had my baby. Most of those have been thrown to the wayside, including letting my child sleep in my bed. Most of those ideals I am happy about having thrown out, co-sleeping is not one of them.
It started when the main sleep issues began at around 18 months. I just wanted to sleep and if that meant having an extra body in the bed, then I was fine with that. I told myself that once we had the sleep issues under control then I would deal with him sleeping in my bed. Little did I know at the time, those sleep issues would continue on unresolved for another 3 years.
At the risk of sounding selfish, I just want my bed back. I love my son with every fiber of my being, but my own space would be nice. I don’t enjoy having him in my bed and I find myself dreading going to bed.
I have tried to get him to sleep in his own bed. He starts off the night in his own bed. I have taken him back to his own bed when he has come into mine. This has lasted for hours and hours. I have tried using a reward chart and talking to him about why he feels he needs to be in my bed. Nothing is working and I am finding myself getting increasingly frustrated.
People reading this may think that I am not being particularly motherly. It may come across as me putting my needs before my child. That I even don’t love him. It couldn’t be further from the truth. I need time out to be a better mother. I need adequate sleep to be a better mother. My son needs to learn that his needs are important but that they aren’t the only important ones in the family.
I co-sleep and I hate it. I want to change it, but I am at a bit of a loss as to how. I love my child, but I don’t want him in my bed. I co-sleep and I hate it, but that’s ok.
Do you co-sleep? Do you love it or hate it?
I think we have all made decisions for that present time and sometimes we struggle to find a balance for everyone. Although I have not experienced the sleep issues that you have, my boys were coming ino my bed in the middle of the night and I know how tiring it is to take them back to their rooms and try to get them to stay. I found that taking them back to their room and sleeping in their bed with them was the best way to deal with it. When they come in, take them back to their room and hop in. You both get what you want technically. Your child in their bed and they are close to you. Both my sons have a single bed so in one bed I sleep on my side against the wall and in the other, his bed isn’t against a wall so we sleep top to toe. Then when they are asleep, if I wke before morning, I go back to my bed. If not, at least I am able to sleep rather than trying to wake up/stay awake to keep them in their bed. I found my boys stopped coming into my room after a few weeks. I hope that if you try this that it works for you. Good luck.
It’s interesting. I wrote an article recently that was the mirror mage of this one and opinion in the comments was pretty evenly divided – I think there was actually a slight lean to not liking it, overall. I quite enjoy it but I completely understand the reasons why others don’t, and would never judge. It’s not for everyone, and that’s cool.
Yes! This is just how I feel!!
I even found myself goggle “I co-sleep and I hate it’ to see if there was anyone out there that felt the same…thank you for sharing!!
I don’t know how I’m going to go about this but after 3 years with 2 kids I’m over co-sleeping……I’m just over it….I want my space back
I’m glad that you feel a little less alone after reading my post. A follower on my Facebook page actually gave me the suggestion of using a radio to help create a bit of white noise. I realised that Mr 6 was staying in his bed on the nights that I left the TV on. We’ve had a win with the radio thankfully!
Oh gosh I can so relate! I’m so not into the cosleeping thing, it just doesn’t work for us. I’m a light sleeper and my son is a wiggle worm! I’ve had people comment that I’m ‘too tough’ about it but I think it’s absolutely fine to want/need your own space and I also think it’s really important for my son to feel comfortable and safe in his own room. All I can say is patience and persistence eventually pays off!