Checking in

I have been feeling quite overwhelmed lately.  I have kept the mask on, smiled but on the inside, and when I am alone, I fall apart.  The anxiety overwhelms me and I have a sense of foreboding, just waiting for bad things to happen.  This has meant that I am engaging in a little (ok a lot) of head in the sand behaviour.  So I want to take stock with the help of Pip, for myself, to show that I am doing ok.  Even if I feel like I am not.

 

I wrote this post last week before Tropical Cyclone Marciano had hit. We currently have no power and estimates are saying we’re not likely to see power until Friday. We’re hot,we’re bothered but at least we don’t have damage. I’m heading to my parents place who have power and hopefully things will be back to normal next week.

Making :  plans to get things back under control.
Cooking :  new things for Mr 5 to take to school
Drinking :  a lot of water. I really notice the difference on the days when I don’t keep up with my water intake.
Reading:  some great Aussie authors.  I have discovered a crime writer called Garry Disher. His books feel like I am reading Blue Heelers. It’s crime without the fluff.
Wanting:  to feel more secure in my decisions and my abilities
Looking:  a little worse for wear
Playing:  Disney Infinity 2.0 with Mr 5.  We finished one section of it a couple of weeks ago.  Who knew it would feel like a massive accomplishment.
Wasting:  time, when I need to be getting my head out of the sand.
Sewing:  the seeds for motivation.  I am just going to keep faking it until it sticks.  It has to work sooner or later.
Wishing:  that the rain would bugger off long enough for me to get all of my washing done.
Enjoying:  some free time now that Mr 5 is at school. I’m also enjoying watching him learn so much.
Waiting:  for my next cluster of the web course to be released.
Liking:  that Mr 5 has settled in to school life so well.  He’s made new friends and is finally telling Paul and I what he gets up to at school.
Wondering:  how long I am going to have to keep faking it until I make it.
Loving: my new medication.  While I am still feeling the sense of foreboding, the ball of anxiety that had taken up residence in my stomach seems to have gotten a lot smaller.
Hoping:
  that Mr 5 continues to love school as much as he is at the moment.
Marvelling:  at how much Mr 5 has grown in the last 4 weeks.  Not physically but emotionally.  We are still working on winding down after school though.
Needing:  some new feet.  I was diagnosed with Plantar Fasciitis a couple of weeks ago and it just doesn’t feel like it’s getting any better.
Smelling:  wetness.  The rain means that everything is feeling and smelling a little damp.
Wearing:  clothes that are more about comfort than style and feeling OK about it.
Following:  a few different streams of advice for getting healthy.
Noticing:  that my fitness is slowly, but surely improving with our walks home from school.
Knowing:  that this too shall pass and all the other inspirational quote shit.
Thinking:  about ways to better be organised with my study.
Feeling:  overwhelmed and a little bit silly that I am resorting to sticking my head in the sand rather than just getting on with it.
Bookmarking:  time management and organisation articles.  I am also bookmarking recipes to try for school lunches.
Opening:  my mind to change, even though it scares the hell out of me.
Giggling:  at Despicable Me with Mr 5.
Feeling:  overwhelmed, but trying to remind myself that I have better coping skills than I did 6 years ago.  I’ve got this.

Do you like to regularly take stock of where you are in life?

Have you seen any easy recipes for school snacks lately?

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3 thoughts on “Checking in

  1. Lydia C Lee

    Don’t under estimate how big an impact the lack of power can be to your mood. It makes everything difficult, and that is exhausting. Take good care of yourself – and cut yourself some slack!!!

    Reply

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