On Monday it was abundantly clear that the Universe hated me, at least when it came to food. I was trying my hardest to actually put in effort to eat responsibly but the Universe was having none of that rubbish.
It all started the night before. I couldn’t sleep, not a single wink. I tried and all that happened was I was left staring at the ceiling. At 530am I gave up and decided to get up, figuring that I could enjoy the quiet time to catch up on some blogging. I also figured that since I was awake, I may as well eat some breakfast.
I have never been much of a breakfast eater so I settled for a shake instead. I had some in the cupboard that I hadn’t touched in a while but they were out of date. I figured it was just powder and it wouldn’t make a difference. Oh it makes all the difference. Milk solid powder might last longer than milk, but it still tastes the same once it’s past its used by date.
Giving up on the shake I tried for some toast. That wasn’t be either because the bread was mouldy and I had forgotten that the Vegemite had run out on the Friday before. It was grocery day so the cupboards were looking a bit mother hubbard. I gave up on the breakfast idea and decided to have a glass of cordial instead…the cordial that ran out the night before.
Putting all of this behind me, I decided to get on with the groceries, looking forward to my usual treat of sushi afterwards. I had actually gotten through the groceries in a reasonable amount of time so I got Mr 5 donut and headed off to the sushi place to get my lunch.
All was going well, they had all of the kind I liked so I put the container of sushi in one of the shopping bags and made my way home. This was to be my undoing. Mr 5 wanted to eat lunch at the shop…maybe I should have listened to him. I got home, packed away the groceries and settled on the couch to eat my sushi. It was hitting all of the right spots until I got to the egg salad roll. It appeared that the soy sauce sitting under the roll had leaked through it, it tasted foul. At least I got to eat 2 rolls before my lunch was spoiled.
I gave up on food for the rest of the day. Instead I looked forward to the creamy pasta I had planned to make for dinner. I had hacked away at the packet of frozen bacon that I had been too lazy to separate so that I didn’t have to defrost 1kg of bacon. I put out the chicken in the fridge to defrost and I couldn’t wait to have my creamy pasta. At 530pm I walked into the kitchen, ready to make dinner.
The chicken was defrosted by this stage and I grabbed it out of the fridge so I could start dinner. I looked at the packet…and you know where this going don’t you…that’s right it wasn’t chicken. It wasn’t even fit for human consumption meat, it was dog food. I was devastated. I searched through the freezer and there was no chicken to be found, at least none that wasn’t in nugget form.
I resigned to having nuggets for dinner, I figured at least I couldn’t bugger that up. Oh how the Universe laughed and laughed. I burnt the fuckers, not even the dog would eat them. At this point I just gave up and we had a sandwich for dinner.
Have you had a day recently where it felt like the Universe was just taking the piss?