The Weird and the Wonderful Medical Confessions

This week Kirsty wants to know about our medical confessions.  I’ve had a fairly decent amount of contact with the medical profession over the years.  Some of them weird, some wonderful, some not so wonderful.

  • My veins suck.  When I was pregnant there was only one pathologist who could get blood first time every time.  I was induced, I needed 2 cannula and it felt like every doctor in maternity had a go at trying to jab a needle in.  One even went and got an ultrasound machine to no avail.  Finally a nurse came to the rescue!
  • You know what is really *awesome* to hear from the very spunky Doctor who is checking how dilated you are? ‘Oh wow your cervix is really far back there’…all I could think was this poor bloke was shoulder deep in my v-jay jay trying desperately to get a finger on my cervix.
  • When I had one of my immunisations at 12, the nurse told me that if I didn’t look at the needle it wouldn’t hurt.  I still use that technique 14 years later.
  • I had an operation when I was 18.  I got a staph infection.  It was so gross.  Holy hell it was gross.
  • I have never broken a bone *touches wood* but I have weak ankles and roll them quite regularly.
  • Due to the number of times I have overdosed on paracetamol I can’t take it unless it has a coating.  I have integrated this into my coping mechanisms.
  • When I was 15 we had to travel 16 hours for me to get an EEG done and see a neurologist.  We stayed at my Aunties place, I went to get my shoes the morning after we arrived..except I forgot to pack them.  We didn’t have enough time to go and buy some more before my appointment so I had to go barefoot.  Thankfully the people who did the EEG gave me some surgical booties because hospital floors are freezing.  I still occasionally walk out of the house to go somewhere and forget to put shoes on.
  • A nurse at ED remembered me because I asked for milk to drink instead of charcoal after an OD..I have no recollection of that.
  • My knees turn in, and I have a slight bow in my lower legs.  It was caused by the way I sat when I was a child.  I used to sit with my legs bent to either side of me, the pressure meant that my knees rolled in.
  • Just over 5 years ago I went to the doctor with vague feelings of being unwell. I’d had a cold for a while and just felt sick all of the time. The doctor looked in my ear an determined is had a really bad ear infection but was over it now. He prescribed maxalon and sent me on my way. Turns out that ear infections can migrate…and turn into fetuses.

Do you have any weird and wonderful medical confessions?

 

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11 thoughts on “The Weird and the Wonderful Medical Confessions

  1. Mystery Case

    I could possibly have an entire blog dedicated to my health issues over the last year but instead I’m confessing something else. There is a post somewhere on the blog that delves into the birth of my youngest who was ten weeks premmie.

    On a needle note. I had a nurse break a needle in my arm once and leave me in the room alone while she went to get help. I wasn’t great with needles before but after this I’m hopeless.

    Reply
  2. Emma Fahy Davis

    Ba ha ha, migrating ear infections huh?! I regularly leave the house without shoes, in fact just last week I had to do the walk of shame thru the mall barefoot to get to Big W to buy thongs as I’d gotten there and realised I had no shoes in the car…

    Reply
  3. Janet @ Middle Aged Mama

    I have dodgy knees – I’ve dislocated my right one 3 times, and torn all the ligaments in my left! I now do exercises everyday to strengthen the muscles that hold my kneecap in place, because I’ve been told that if it happens again I’ll need surgery – no thank you!

    Reply
  4. Ness

    Well that doctor who diagnosed your ear infection is a total genius LOL! I’ve never broken a bone either and I’m madly touching wood right now too!

    Reply
  5. Emily @ Have A Laugh On Me

    LMAO ear infections turning into babies – DIR! You sure have had some experiences. I also sat like that as a child and as a result have VERY dodgy knees, often can’t bend them no shit, and one day I reckon I’ll need knee cap replacements or something, I can hardly run without them feeling so wrong! Why didn’t some one bloody stop us sitting like that?????

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  6. Dannie ~ A Dose Of Dannie

    Hate needles (so why do i really want a tatt) ?? I have broken my ankle once and always tore ligaments when i danced all the time. I have many ear infections in middle ear and need checking every 6-12 months to see if i need grommets or hearing aid (i have lost hearing in right ear up to 30% left 20%

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  7. Jaz @ Red Dolls

    That migrating ear infection made me laugh out loud, I’ll be sure to keep that in mind!
    A doctor got the speculum stuck during a pap smear once, just breathe and relax……
    Staph infections are disgusting, hubby had a pineal sinus operated on and came out with golden staph (and six months off work) but I am now a veteran wound dresser and germ containment specialist!
    I had morning sickness really bad with my son and the same thing – every nurse and doctor trying to hit a vein, so not fun. I can’t believe Raych had a needle break, yikes!

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  8. Zita

    I see children sit like that all the time and cringe!! I have dodgy dodgy knees from being dragged on bitumen by a dog, no hospital visit but probably should have in hindsight!!

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  9. lisa

    Umm, no medical conditions just 3 pregnancies, all 4 of my wisdom teeth out at once in my early 20’s, a broken toe from a drunken mishap stepping onto a step, that is about it. Love the migrating ear infection-actually that is rather worrying!

    Reply

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