I must confess that I am at a crossroads.
I have fingers that itch to write but here I am staring at the blank screen, the blinking cursor mocking my indecisive actions. I want to write, but I don’t know where to start. I have no idea if it is a sense of too much to write which is overwhelming me or if my mind really is the echo chamber that it feels like.
I have two questions. Do I write for the sake of writing, faking it until I make it, or let the sea of nothingness wash over me? This is not the first time that I have faced a sea of nothingness, nor will it be the last time I face it. It is the peril of the medicated, sometimes it clouds, making my brain a series of soft fuzziness and other times it pushes the fuzziness away. It enables me to reach within, push away the lack of motivation and see the way forward.
The rut that I feel that I am stuck in, has provided me the ability to write about the things that matter, the things that I know. The trouble is that these reasons seem to be drying up, I feel that I am saying the same things over and over again. Outrage seems to be a common theme. Is that a bad thing? I still haven’t worked it out yet.
In keeping the focus on the outside world, on things that other people are doing, it allows me to shift the focus from working on the things about myself that need to be done. This has always been a coping mechanism that I have kept falling back to. It is much easier to give advice than to take it. It’s a welcome distraction when I can focus on things other than what is going on in my head.
All of this woe is me has a purpose, it serves a purpose to tell me that things need to change. I need to set a new path, but still keeping within my realm. I need to keep writing what I know, but with a different focus. Mental Illness is what I know, I would be doing myself a disservice to write about things that I do not know so intimately.
So, I put it to you reader, is there anything you want covered that I haven’t already? Do you have any burning questions that you want answered? Feel free to comment below or if you wish to remain anonymous send an email here
Linking up with I must confess