This isn’t really a massive revelation but one that needed to be said. I have no idea what I am doing when it comes to parenting and neither do you. Now don’t go freaking out and search google for the answer because there isn’t one. We all have no idea what we are doing and that is perfectly alright.
Put down the parenting book, step away from Google and just go with the flow. Not every single moment of child rearing needs to be analysed and labelled. Sometimes kids just push buttons because they know they can. Sometimes the more you ignore and try to hide, the more they push and attention grab.
Every single person is unique, as much as people may appear to act like a herd of sheep, they all have their own quirks. Our children are no different, parenting is one big ‘let’s try this and hope it works’, no one has all the answers, regardless of how many letters they have after their name.
Trust yourself. You know your children better than anyone. No outsider knows their quirks like you do, you live with them everyday, tuck them in, kiss their knees when they are scraped. It’s easy for someone looking at the ‘facts’ to pass their judgement, ‘stop smothering them’, ‘hug them more’, the lists of advice is endless. Some of it will work, most of it won’t. It doesn’t matter if you have 1 child or 10, we are all still learning, watching, fucking up.
Allow yourself to make mistakes. Don’t dwell on them. I call this Stewy Mcstewing. Going over and over again what we ‘coulda, woulda, shoulda’ done. Remove these terms from your vocabulary. They don’t serve any purpose but to guilt and shame. That is not what parenting is. Everyone fucks up. Those who say they don’t are fucking liars.
Listen to the cues of your kids. Sometimes we spend so much time caught up in what the experts tell us we should be doing and forget to listen to the best expert of all..that hunk of flesh in front of you, also known as your child. This is what I struggle with the most. I forget that my little guy, although he has a fierce independence streak, is only 3. I expect too much of him and he bucks against me by reverting to acting like a baby. It’s a vicious circle. I get angry, he pushes back, I get angry. It’s a cycle I want to break.
So here is my confession..I fuck up every single day as a parent. But the smile on my little guys face lets me know that I’m doing ok. You’re doing ok too, regardless of what you tell yourself.
Linking up with Kirsty from My Home Truths for I must confess.