I’m joining in with #reverb12 Today’s prompt is: What do you really wish for?
This one has taken me all day to think about. I really don’t know if I am any closer to having a clue, so I am just going to type and hopefully I will come up with an answer by the end of the post. So hang on tight for the random ramblings that has been my brain today.
When someone asks me what I want my mind always goes blank. I can never think of anything. Even for things as simple as a birthday present. It is kind of like the age old, so tell me about yourself…ah well yeh I’m a woman and that’s as far as I usually get. When thinking about what I really wish for, nothing seemed ‘big’ enough, significant enough. Everything felt like it was trivial and small.
Of course we all think of the world peace and end world hunger but I felt like this had to be something personal. Something selfish and just for me. We all wish for happiness for ourselves and for our family but that felt too mainstream. I needed something tangible, something that didn’t feel so whimsicle. I didn’t know whether to think of something that at this point in time was out of my reach (mansion anyone?) or whether to have something that was a little more attainable. Whether I should think of something I could achieve in 2013 or something that was going to take a lot longer than that. Something that would take one big effort and be done with or something that would require ongoing work. That’s when it hit me.
I knew exactly what I wanted to wish for. My mojo and my enthusiasm for life. It will need a lot of work but it will be worth it in the end. It’s something that will have a flow on effect to all parts of my life. At the moment it requires a lot of effort just to get out of bed in the mornings. There is no energy or motivation left for anything else. My energy comes in small bursts and I try to take advantage of it. These bursts seem to be few and far between. Tomorrow is my first appointment with a new psychologist. I am hoping that it will be the first step towards getting my mojo back.