I decided to do a bit of dissecting today. What on you ask? The Shopping Centre of course.  Yep it’s all hard hitting action around here.
There are many different kinds of inhabitants that frequent The Shopping Centre.  Not all of them are rant worthy, most of them are.
The Teenager: This is one of the inhabitants that get on my last nerve frequently.  Sure there are nice ones around….those ones don’t hang around shopping centres acting like wankers.  You know the ones, they are loud, obnoxious and always in large groups.  The local Shopping Centre tried to stamp down on these creatures by saying people under the age of 18 couldn’t be in groups of more than 4. Yeh it worked for a whole week I think.
The Senior Citizen: This inhabitant tends to save all of their shopping adventures to one day. The dreaded Pension Day.  The general consensus is that this day is a Thursday.  Around here it seems to lean more towards a Friday.  The Senior Citizen has two very distinct categories. There is the cute little old lady/man. They fill you with all good stuff and remind you of the Disney industry generated Grandparent figure. Then there is the complete polar opposite.  The nasty, rude little old lady/man.  I understand that we should respect our elders BUT respect should be something that is returned.  You being over the age of 60 doesn’t give you the right to push in front of me and my son at the checkout. If you have less things than me, I might have let you go first anyway.  You being rude about it just leaves a sour taste in my mouth.
The Bogan Family: This group of inhabitants don’t have shoes, clothes are usually ripped and dirty, just like their foul mouth.  Don’t get me wrong I drop the F-Bomb like the best of them, but there is a time and a place.  Walking through your local Shopping Centre is not that place.  Also please try to keep your kids in some kind of control.  We all know that Shopping Centres are like drugs for small kids but if you’re too busy snogging your latest Baby Daddy, then that shit is not cool.
The ‘Whoops is this a Shopping Centre, not a nightclub’: There is a whole post dedicated to this right over here
The Large Group: When I say large group, I am talking more that 5.  A large group on its own is not annoying.  It’s when said large group insists on walking in a straight line across the walkway.  You know, blocking the whole fucking thing! Have you ever tried to navigate a pram or trolley through one of these groups? It’s damn impossible.  None of them move, none of them acknowledge that there are OTHER FUCKING PEOPLE WHO ARE TRYING TO SHOP TOO!
The Dreamer: Although the name may lead you to think that this person is all arty and swish. No. This person is too busy in their own world to realise that there is actually other people in the Shopping Centre.  You know, people who are trying to get shit done.  They wander around, saying hello to the 500 people they know, usually done in a door way of a store.  Don’t even try saying ‘excuse me’. It will fall of deaf ears and you’ll be forced to look like you are a member of ‘The Bogan Family’ by cursing them out.
The Get In, Get Your Shit and Get Out: This is me. I don’t like shopping for the sake of shopping anymore.  All of the above inhabitants have ruined that for me. 

Which inhabitant are you? Are you a little bit of different ones?

Linking up with Essentially Jess for IBOT

11 thoughts on “Dissection

  1. ann

    God help anyone who gets in my way from now on!! They should have designated days for the get in get outs without any distractions from any of the losers you have mentioned!!

  2. Ang

    I’m a get in and get out person especially when I have the boys. I could be considered a large group when we take 2 trolleys for shopping. one for the boys and one for the food. Although in saying that, we do consider other shoppers and go single file when needed. there is probably one more type of shopper that you left out and that is the drifter mum who actually gets to take her time looking at things because she doesn’t have her children with her or have to fight with them to get out of the toy aisle so she can get what she is actually there for.

  3. Yvette Bowyer

    you forgot the SAHM with 2 kids wandering around because its raining and there was nothing else we could do but come to the shops and wander…

    ok it was great when they were both in the pram, but now that one is walking next to me.. (running away from me screaming)…

    I am a get in and get out!!

    #teamIBOT was here to say hi!

  4. Me

    LOL – I’m a get in get out kind of shopper. My husband, on the other hand, loves to wander around the shops. For him a weekend without shopping is a wasted opportunity. It doesn’t worry him if we have nothing we need to buy and no money to buy stuff if we do need it – he just loves to go to the shops !!! It has been known to drive me insane at times !!
    Love the categories you have come up with – so very true !!
    Have the best day !

  5. Bronnie Marquardt

    Oh I love this, you’ve summed it up nicely. I am the get in and get out person, except when I am occasionally without kids and I get distracted by pretty things momentarily (things I cannot by, but I can dream, can’ I?) And I can be very nice to the elderly, or anyone with a load of groceries to buy when I may have less but not if I have chattering humans climbing over my back looking for lollies. I at least expect a thank you if I let someone in before me!


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