Kids say the darndest things

One of the joyous and possibly quite scariest thing about having a toddler is they start to learn how to talk and come out with the cutest and most cringe worthy phrases.
Devil Spawn already has sarcasm down to an art. I think it’s awesome and considering I’m fluent in sarcasm, it was inevitable.  He most used phrase I think is easily ‘alright’ of course said with a sigh and eye roll.  This is usually after I have told him to pick up his toys for the tenth time in the space of an hour.  I wouldn’t have to nag you if you did it the first time kid.
I think it’s almost a right ofpassage for a toddler to drop the ‘f’ bomb at some stage.  Usually in public.  Recently while out at my parents Devil Spawn dropped it, and used it in perfect context.  I didn’t know whether to hug him or yell at him.  What I did do was burst out laughing and attempt, in between fits of giggles to tell him it was naughty. 
At the moment Devil Spawn is convinced that everyone is a man.  We have many arguments about Mummy being a man and not a girl. Usually said with a sarcastic giggle from Devil Spawn.  When used in the safety of The Funny Farm it’s pretty safe. When used on a bus not so much. It usually involves me hissing at him that that’s a lady not a man and me receiving a dirty look from said lady.
Mispronunciation is pretty funny too.  Devil Spawn says dick instead of stick.  When said in the right context it gets a bit old school girl giggle from me.  His other mispronunciation though has the potentional to be a bit more mortifying.  When he says ‘can’t’ it sounds an awful lot like a swear word used to describe the female anatomy.  Oh yes it’s so awesome when we are at the local shopping centre and I ask him to to do something and he yells at the top of his voice ‘I c*nt’. Oh yeh that.
His favourite phrase at the moment is ‘begusting’ aka ‘disgusting’.  I use the term to describe the things up his nose that he refuses to let me remove.  Devil Spawn prefers to use it to describe food that he is served.  I don’t mind it so much when its about noodles from the local noodle place (hey more for me) but when he uses it to describe the food I serve up, then shit has just gotten real. 
What are some pearlers that your cherubs have come out with? Do you cringe every time they open their mouth in public?
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9 thoughts on “Kids say the darndest things

  1. Mumabulous

    Team ‘Abulous were in a junk store yesterday when we passed a Mum and a little boy. The little boy was threatening to “fart again”. I just burst out laughing which didn’t help his poor Mum at all. I am sorry sister.

  2. Melissa

    Alexander used to call vaginas “Jemimas” and once in the ladies toilets at a shopping centre, when we were (yet again) having the conversation as to why I didn’t have a penis he piped up (loudly) with “Oh! That’s right. You have a Jemima! Mama, I LOOOOVE Jemimas!!). Lots of giggles heard from the other stalls.

    Sammy calls elevators ‘alligators’. ‘Tis very cute.

  3. Bachelor Mum

    I can’t repeat my daughter’s clangers but I do know she got them mostly from accompanying me driving – i never usually talk like a gutter snipe but i do when i’m behind the wheel as she has reminded me 🙂

  4. Carly

    Thanks for the laughs! Miss O is 3 and whipped out a perfectly placed “it’s just so f@#king annoying” on a recent camping trip in France…. it was heard loud and clear by all around.
    On these occasions I have learnt to ignore her and not laugh or tell her off because if I give it any attention I know the little monkey is going to run with it like the wind and repeat again and again!

  5. purely4kids

    Ha ha – love it!!! I too have some little darlings that tell me my food is disgusting!! Bless ’em.
    Probably the most embarrassing moment was when my now 12 year old was about 2 and a seriously overweight man walked into the dr’s surgery – Master 2 yelled out “mum – look at that big fat man!” Yep, wanted a hole to open up in the ground and just swallow me up.


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