The only time I have absolutely no anxiety about making a phone call is when I am making drunk calls and lets be honest its socially frowned upon to be drunk ALL the time, as tempting as it is.
The trouble with being a grown up is that, well, you have to make phone calls all of the time. Regardless of whether you want to or not. Me, I try all other avenues of contact before making a phone call. Even sweeping problems under the rug and pretending they don’t exist.
My problem at the moment is that I want to try and find a private psychologist. That involves using the phone. I have found a group who treat self harm patients. I sent them an email on Thursday and haven’t heard anything since. My first reaction is to think that ‘they are all the same’ and ignore it. My second reaction is to just keep waiting it out and hoping that I get an email or phone call reply soon. Chances are the email has been overlooked and it would be in my best interest to just call them for the information I am looking for.
Chances are I won’t do it. It took me 3 days to call the social worker to reschedule my appointment for tomorrow. Two hang ups before the call connected.
The trouble is that I have bitten the bullet last week and went to my GP…who has referred me to the uselessness that is the public mental health system. Chances are I won’t get a phone call from them. Chances are if I do it will only serve to piss me off. Anger is something I have enough of. I don’t need anymore.
I need to get better. Pure and simple. Right?