Today I need a big dose of this….
Everything is compounding and it feels as though nothing is going the way it is supposed to. I sit in the house because I can’t be bothered putting on a smile to face the world. I make plans because I know that staying stuck in my house doesn’t do anyone any favours but I pull out at the last minute because I work myself up about it too much.
I finally worked up the courage to ring my case manager, after talking about it extensively with one of my best friends…only to have her not call me back. I got a phone call two days later to say that she was on holidays, had been all week and wouldn’t be back until Monday… I am at a loss as to why the receptionist didn’t mention this. I hate the public health system.
Major is frustrated at me because I won’t just ‘perk’ up. He of all people should know that it isn’t that easy. Mixed all up with that is anger and frustration. I want to just get off this damn roller coaster called life. I’m done. My case manager will ask me if I feel safe….I have no idea