AHHHHHHH

I’m stressed…when I stress I revert back to old habits.  Habits I thought I had kicked.  Habits I am not proud of.  Habits I don’t speak of….until now

When I started this blog I wanted to be open and honest in creating a snap shot into my life…even if that is always sunshine, lollipops and all that other fucking shit.

My first port of call in the stress express is retreatment…retreating into myself and having no motivation or energy to do the everyday tasks.  

Second stop is ‘negative coping mechanisms’ a lovely term for ‘shit you really shouldn’t do’.  Since having Mini Man cutting hasn’t made an appearance on the stress express but other mechanisms have.  Hello getting plastered aka social norm coping mechanism.  Then there is not so social norm coping mechanism.  Binging and Purging.

Since starting this challenge I have really struggled to keep myself in check.  After downing multiple laxatives for weeks on end, going cold turkey was fucking hard.  The urge to binge has been ever present and today I gave in….gave in bad.  It’s a good thing I have no laxatives in the house.  

I’m trying desperately to keep myself in check and not let my emotions get the better of me.  I’m sucking it princess….

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