I read this Tumblr post and it hit my right in the soft spot. The feels that is. I try to put forward this persona of not being affected by things, but this one snuck right underneath the barriers when I wasn’t watching. It hit me somewhere that I haven’t thought about in great detail for years.
The post is about eating disorders and what they really are. I have never seen a more encompassing piece of writing about eating disorders. Of course everyone’s experience is different, but it was interested that when a friend shared it on her FB wall, there was a decent amount of head nodding.
I’ve talked about the obsession I had around food, about the feeling that, that obsession created in me. However that was just skimming the surface, it didn’t talk about how I really felt for those years that I suffered/suffer from disordered eating. I still don’t have a good relationship with food and the way that it makes me feel. I laugh it off, but in the dark, when I’m alone, the reality comes back to bite me in the arse.
We all have that little voice in our head. The voice of reason, and for people who have a healthy self esteem, this voice is more like an internal cheer leader. My voice seemed to miss class that day. She is nasty, brutal and is more than likely the reason behind my need to justify my decisions.
There was a while when I gave that voice a name. I can’t remember the name off the top of my head now, and I don’t wish to go delving through my journals to find it. However I do know that giving that internal voice a name meant that I had given her power. I was allowing her control, where she had no business being in control.
This may sound strange, like I wasn’t in touch with reality and for a while I wasn’t. This disconnect however is all part and parcel of having BPD. I believed that my mind and body were entirely separate beings. I had the belief that my mind was strong, and I (the body) was weak. It was this belief that fueled a lot of my self harm, the body was weak and needed to be punished.
I still have that voice. She still has most of the power over me. I still find myself internally justifying everything I do to her. However I know that she is a part of me. I know that we aren’t separate and that it is simply my low self esteem having a voice. Maybe this distinction is what allows me to dismiss some of the things that the little voice says.
This week the prompt for I must confess is Santa photos. This yearly event and I have a bit of a love hate relationship. I love getting them done. I hate that I have to be in them every year. This year I hoping will be different, but I’m definitely not holding my breath.
I’ve written a post about out Christmas photos so far and while I’m not happy about being in the last few years, I am glad that I did them. They make a great Christmas Present for Grandparents, especially when you can get a disc of the photos to print out yourself!
I also haphazardly take pictures to use on Christmas Cards. The first year was the easiest…then Mr 5 just wasn’t really into it. I got some cute pictures out of it though!
I also love making collages to compare how much Mr 5 has grown through the year. Like this one of him after we had finished putting up the tree.Of course it wouldn’t be a Santa Photo unless there was one of me when I was a kid. This photo was taken in the same shopping centre that I get Mr 5’s done now!
Do you take your kids to have their photo taken with Santa? Have you managed to not being in the photo yet?
How’s the weather at your place? The Sunshine has definitely been shining here, pity it seems to have brought along his friend humidity. I’m melting can be heard regularly coming from my mouth! Along with the cooler weather disappearing, it seems that my desire to eat much that is hot has jumped out the window too. So I thought it would be perfect to talk about desserts for this weeks Sunshine Sunday. I considered making and sharing a few different recipes, like this Clinker Slice from Lucy at Bake Play Smile, or maybe these Cherry Ripe Balls from Lauren at Create Make Bake and I even trawled through the Dessert board on my Pinterest account. Nothing seemed to jump out at me though and I wanted something that was cold, as well as yummy. I also didn’t want to be standing in my hot kitchen for too long! I finally settled on an Ice cream cake. I made one for Christmas Day a couple of years ago and it was delicious. Unfortunately I lost the recipe so this one was made from scratch. The recipe that I have is to fit into a loaf tin. If you want a bigger cake, just use more ice cream. Also you can buy triple chocolate ice cream which has vanilla, chocolate and dark chocolate icecream. If you don’t have the room, you can buy this instead of the vanilla and chocolate separately. I didn’t measure the ingredients that I mixed with the ice cream either, I just added them until it looked like a decent mix.
Layered Ice Cream Cake
1 Litre Chocolate Ice cream
1 Litre Vanilla Ice cream
1 loaf tin
1 packet of banana lollies
1 packet of chocolate biscuits
2 Violet Crumble Bars
2 Flake Bars
Take the ice cream out of the freezer so that it can soften a little. It makes it easier to mix everything together.
Put the loaf tin in the freezer. This helps the ice cream go hard quicker.
Chop up the banana lollies. Each lolly should be cut up into about 4 pieces.
Spoon the chocolate ice cream into a bowl.
Mix in the banana lollies and crumble the chocolate biscuits. You can use a rolling pin to crush them, but don’t use a food processor or this will make the biscuits too fine.
Take the loaf tin out of the freezer and line it with baking paper. Make sure you have enough overlapping the sides that you can use them as handles to pull the ice cream cake out of the tin.
Spoon the chocolate ice cream mix into the loaf tin. Use a tablespoon to press it into the corners.
Put the tin in the freezer so that the chocolate ice cream can set a little while you mix the vanilla ice cream.
Spoon the vanilla ice cream into a bowl.
Bash the hell out of the violet crumble. I found it easier to keep it in the packet and do it with a rolling pin.
Crumble the flake into the vanilla ice cream and mix in the violet crumble. Mix it all together until well combined.
Spoon the vanilla ice cream mixture into the loaf tin, using a table spoon to smooth it out on top.
Cover the ice cream cake with glad wrap and put it in the freezer over night.
What is your favourite kind of dessert? Have you ever made an ice cream cake?
*I received product or press releases from various businesses in order to complete this gift guide. I believe in the products that have been included and all reviews are my own. I also received product in order to conduct a giveaway.*
Whether we like it or not, no amount of kicking and screaming changes the fact that it’s getting close to Christmas. Every year I tell myself that I will buy things through the year so that I don’t have to do the last minute scrabble and every year I don’t do it!
This year though I wanted to be different for my Christmas gift buying because I’m sick of the same old stuff that the department stores have been bringing out year after year. So without further ado, I bring you the Musings of the Misguided Christmas Gift Guide! I also have a giveaway of a few of the products featured in this Christmas Gift Guide. The giveaway is open to Australian residents only sorry!
NOT ALL OF THE PRODUCTS IN THIS GIFT GUIDE ARE INCLUDED IN THE GIVEAWAY. THE GIVEAWAY ONLY INCLUDES THE PRODUCTS LISTED IN THE APPLICATION AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS POST.
Musings of the Misguided Christmas Gift Guide!
For the adults:
The man box
Do you have a man in your life who is impossible to buy for? Are they the man who has everything or just isn’t into anything. I do! That’s where the man box comes in. There are 10 boxes to choose from – Beire Man, Fisher Man, Metro Man, Sports Man, BBQ Man, Golf Man and Jalapeno Man – so you’re sure to find something for the man in your life! Prices start at just $75 plus shipping and can be delivered to all capital cities and most regional areas. Head to The Man Box website for more details.
JOYA Massage Roller Classic
The Joya Massage Roller is a small hand-held massage roller which allows quick relief for those tired and aching muscles. Boasting a concept never seen before, the JOYA works on rotating crystal spheres that allow easy self or partner massages. The crystals balance the energy, meaning less hand strain for the person giving the massage. The JOYA is available for purchase through their website from $79 (price includes JOYA Massage Roller Classic and 1 Crystal)
Summer TABLE Cookbook
Summer TABLE is a world first interactive cookbook to solve the dinner dilemma, offering fast, delicious and healthy recipes for every night of summer. Every recipe is accompanied with a QR code – a quick scan will automatically generate a shopping list on your mobile phone, making summer meals times a breeze. Summer Table is available Independent Bookstores or online. The RRP is $34.95.
Use a QR Code Scanner to get a glimpse at the Summer TABLE app.
If you are a regular on the blog then you’ll know that I have reviewed this great product before. For those new here, Para’kito is a eco-friendly mosquito repellant device that was developed in France. Comprising of a unique blend of oils proven to repel mosquitoes, which are infused into a small pellet. The pellet can then be used with the Para’kito wristband or clip. The clips and bands, including 2 pellets are available for RRP $24.95 which last up to 30 days. Refill packs of 2 pellets can also be purchased for RRP $15.95. I also have some sample packs up for giveaway so be sure to enter via the widget at the bottom of the post.
Plox portable phone/tablet chargers
The Plox portable chargers allow you to charge your Apple or Android product on the go. These are perfect for holidays when you aren’t always able to get to a power point, especially on long days that are spent sight seeing. These chargers are available in a range of colours and can fully charge your Apple or Android product 2-4 times before the Plox charger needs to be recharged itself. I was sent a hot pink 6000 Power Box (RRP $77) which has a built in lightning cable, a usb port and a lightning cable to recharge the box. A single recharge of the Plox takes 7-8 hours, it was then able to charge my phone twice (a Samsung which can be connected via the usb port) and Mr 5’s Ipod 3 times before running flat. It only took 2-3 hours to charge my phone and that was with me using it while it was charging. The Plox phone/tablet chargers are available for purchase online through their website.
Bosch DIY Power Tools
Bosch have released a new range of power tools which are perfect for people who love to build small projects. Each power tool uses the Bosch Lithium-Ion battery technology and with 7 tools available there is sure to be one to suit your DIY projects this summer. With each tool being lightweight, it means that anyone, from the beginner to the more experienced DIYer can produce projects with a professional finish. Head to the Bosch Do It website for more information and inspiration for your latest DIY project. Paul and I made this using the Drill (RRP $149), Paint Sprayer (RRP $139), Multi-tool (RRP $119) and Sander (RRP $119).
Middletree Home Fragrance:
Middletree’s range of candles, melts and reed diffusers, is the idea gift for the friend who deserves something for “me time”. Available for purchase online from www.middletree.com.au their popular Frankincense and Myrrh is an enchanting aromatic blend of frankincense and myrrh with balsam, spice, patchouli and sandalwood. All of their candles are hand poured and crafted in Australia, made with 100% premium soy wax and use lead free wicks. Melts start from $12.95
Herbie’s Spices fills a need in the community of cooks and food lovers for one central place to access all those hard-to-find herbs and spices. Their Christmas Feast Spice Kit is perfect for creating nibbles and drinks over the festive period and is the ideal gift to give to host or hostess to say “thanks for a great Christmas”.
The Market Basket Co.
The Market Basket Co. is a french inspired, moroccan made basket company. This Christmas The Market Basket Co. has brought out a pastel range, with a variety of sizes, styles and pricing options to suit everyone. Their #1 pick for Christmas 2014 is the “Laura” basket in Raspberry RRP $59.00. The full range can be viewed at www.themarketbasketco.com.au
For the kids
Kimochis Nesting Heart
The Kimochis brand of toys are used to teach children about emotion. The newest character to join the gang is the Nesting Heart. The Nesting Heart comprises of two velvety hearts, a smaller one that nestles into the larger palm sized ‘holding’ heart. This great toy allows children to feel close to loved ones by creating heartfelt connections during separation. The child takes the smaller heart, while leaving behind the larger holding heart. These are great for kids who are just starting school, daycare, FIFO workers, relatives who don’t live close, hospitalised children and school camp. The Nesting Heart is available for $24.95, click here for stockists. You can also check them out on Facebook to see what adventures the Kimochis are up to! I also have 1 Nesting Heart to giveaway to a lucky reader so be sure to enter via the widget below.
Kids Bedroom Accessories
Fantastic Furniture have a great range of affordable kids bedroom decor including canvas prints, cushions and lamps. Prices start from a low $8! Check the website for more details.
The SwimFin is the only swimming aid you will need for your kids this summer. Endorsed in Australia and New Zealand by Olympic Gold Medalist Libby Trickett, SwimFin is a self-adjusting swimming aid which is suitable for children aged 2 and up. The Wiggles have also jumped on board with SwimFin and have created a series of water safety videos and a catchy song ‘Swim life a fish’. The SwimFin is available for RRP $39.95 online. I also have 1 SwimFin available for giveaway to one lucky reader so be sure to enter using the widget at the bottom of the post.
Hi-5 Big Adventures DVD
Hi-5 have released their newest DVD and it’s jam packed full of adventures. Stevie, Lauren, Dayen, Ainsley and Mary are having adventures around the world, from the Penguins to African Safaris. Hi-5 combines song and dance with educational material to help make learning fun for kids of all ages. Big Adventures is available from Big W, JB Hi Fi and all major retailers for a low price of $16.95. I have 2 Hi-5 merchandise packs to giveaway so be sure to enter using the widget at the bottom of this post.
Planet Eco Gardening Kits
The lovely people at Planet-Eco have created a range of gardening kits that help kids grow their own little gardens. We’ve planted a veggie patch this year and Mr 5 absolutely loves picking the veggies, watering them and watching them grow. Planet-Eco have 4 kids available – Flower Patch Kit, Tea Patch Kit, Veggie Patch Kit and Herb Patch Kid – there’s sure to be something for everyone. Each kit includes seeds, bamboo plant tags, 18 bio degradable coconut coir eco-pots and a plant-eco growing guide to show you the best time to plant your seeds. I have a Herb Patch Kit up for grabs for one lucky reader so be sure to enter via the widget at the bottom of this post.
Funky Elephant Play Box
Do you want to do activities with your kids that are both educational and fun? Then Funky Elephant is the product for you! The Funky Elephant is a subscription based product that delivers a trunk full of activities each month. Each trunk is gender-friendly and designed for 3-7 years old. The Funky Elephant ships nation-wide and is available online for a low $24.95. I have 1 Funky Elephant Trunk to giveaway to one lucky reader, be sure to enter via the widget at the bottom of this post.
Zak! Australia Plasticware
Mr 5 has the Planes set in his sights
One of my favourite things about starting a new year at school is getting a lunch box. Zak! Australia has a great range available at Target including Frozen, Hello Kitty, Minnie Mouse, TMNT, Spiderman, Disney Princesses and Planes: Fire and Rescue. They’ve also launched a new range in time for Back to School which includes Doc McStuffins, Frozen, Minions, Monster High, TMNT and Transformers. Zak! started in the US in 1976 and launched in Australia 10 years ago. With prices starting at a low $2 it’s easy to see why Zak! Australia sells over 5 million products per year!
Autobahn and Train Track Tape
This product is perfect for those who have have kids who absolutely love train tracks and cars but don’t have the room to have tracks set up. Or if you are like me, you’re sick of tripping over the things every time you walk into their room! Each roll has 33m of either train tracks or road and it’s small enough to fit in your bag so they can be taken on holidays too! The road and train track are available online for $21.95 + delivery. I have two packs consisting of one road track and one train track to giveaway so be sure to enter the giveaway via the app below.
BabyButton Hero Cape
If you have a superhero mad fan in your house then this is the present for you! The BabyButton Hero cape has your child’s initial embroidered onto it. You can choose from a range of colours for the cape too so there is sure to be a cape to fit everyone. To order you just need to pick a colour, select the letter for your cape and then the size. Due to each cape being custom made, please allow at least 10 days for your product to arrive. You can order your very own superhero cape online for $24.96 + delivery.
For the pets
Guide Dogs Hamper
Do you have a fur baby, who you love just as much as your kids? Want to buy a present that will help a great charity? Then Guide Dogs Hampers are the perfect present for you. Not only will your pooch reap the rewards of a basket jam packed with goodies, but you’ll be raising funds for Guide Dogs Victoria. You can order your hamper online for $29.95. a Rafflecopter giveaway
Terms and Conditions
The competition is open to Australian Residents Only.
The competition starts at 5am on the 21st day of November in the year 2014 and ends at Midnight on the 28th of November in the year 2014. Entries received after this date will not be eligible.
In order for the entry to be valid the question ‘If money was no object what would you buy yourself for Christmas’ must be answered. The competition is a game of skill.
All decisions are final and no discussion will be entered once the winners have been announced.
There is a total of 9 prizes and each entrant is only eligible to win one prize.
One entry per household, duplicate entries will be removed.
The winners have 48 hours to respond to email correspondence before another winner is chosen.
I regularly Google the name of my blog to check where I have been mentioned that I may have missed. The results are usually positive link backs and I’m glad to be part of such a supportive blogging community. Today I discovered my blog and the radio interview I did as part of Mental Health Week linked on a blog that is so far removed from what I am trying to achieve here.
The link has since been removed, and I won’t link back to the blog that I am talking about. I need to talk about it, but I don’t want to give it any more oxygen than is absolutely necessary. I want to talk about the dangers of a blog like the one I came across, but I don’t want to flog the dead horse.
In the About section of the blog, the writer admits to having a relative with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and lists the wrong doings of the person they have had contact with. This however is not what I have an issue with. I understand that people with BPD can be hard to live with, that they can often be abusive, manipulative and emotionally volatile. It can absolutely be hard for those who love someone with BPD, especially if they either aren’t seeking treatment or aren’t receiving adequate treatment.
What I do have an issue with however is the belief that this experience is how all people with BPD are. I have an issue with a site that decides that their experience can be used as a factual recount of how all people with BPD act. I have an issue with a site whose only ‘support’ is to remove yourself from the life of the person with BPD.
In order to receive an official diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder a person must meet at least 5 of the 9 criteria. That means that there is hundreds of different ways that a person can present and still have a diagnosis of BPD. No two people are alike, they may share similar characteristics, but they are not exactly the same.
This site cherry picks information from reputable sources in order to fuel the negative conversation. One post in particular talked about the need of a person with BPD to surround themselves in chaos. They used quotes from this article which talks about how a low sense of self leads to people with BPD acting out to produce outcomes in which they feel comfortable. It’s ‘waiting for the other shoe to drop’ on a larger scale. However, rather than using it to provide a balanced article, they have used it to prove that people with BPD are bad, to be feared and are incurable.
Even stigma isn’t safe from this site. The author believes that reducing stigma only helps the person with BPD. Which in it’s simplicity is true. Of course removing stigma of BPD of any mental illness will make life easier for those who are living with the illness. However on far larger scale, talking about BPD, educating people about the realities, and providing funding for treatment benefits the entire community, for many generations to come.
Through the removal of stigma people with BPD will be able to seek and receive treatment that is adequate. Currently BPD is still seen by older professionals as incurable, a burden on treatment teams and the patient is then placed in the too hard basket. It is only through reduction of stigma and the research of pioneers in BPD treatment such as Marsha Linehan that people with Borderline can even have a hope of living a better life. Which in turn means that those around them reap the benefits.
I don’t want to take away from the experiences of people who are have a relationship with someone who has BPD, that is not my aim here. I just want them to have a place that offers support and information that is accurate. There is enough scare mongering about mental illness in general. I don’t believe that a site dedicated to talking about the horrible side of people with BPD is in anyway helpful.
If you have a loved one with a personality disorder then I would recommend checking out the website called Out of the FOG. It provides balanced, factual information and there are also support forums available.
Do you know someone with a personality disorder? Do you believe that the removal of stigma benefits the community as a whole?